What to Do?

When I was a teenager, my mother always laughed when she would ask me how a party was. I would very often respond "It was the best party ever". She laughed because I had said the same thing the previous week and because she knew that most probably I would say the same thing about the next one the following week. It used to drive me crazy if there were 2 parties I wanted to go to on the same night. To this date, she is constantly reminding me that I just cannot be in 2 places at the same time, regardless of how much I wished I could be. Instead of enjoying completely what I was doing at a particular time, I would stress about and wonder how the others were doing somewhere else.
Well, I guess that trait of mine has not changed. I have gotten to know a really fun couple of moms from Diego's school. They are all very involved in the school and seem to enjoy it very much. Now, partly because of them, I have been thinking about all the things I am potentially missing. If I was not working, I would have more time to participate in school stuff, to spend time with great people that could become good friends. I could travel more and stay longer in Guatemala so Diego and Isabel's Spanish could flourish. I would have more time to exercise and to keep my house looking perfect at all times (...mmm, well, three out of four is not bad).
So, I find myself daydreaming about how useful and practical it would be not to work, when suddenly, the opposite thought enters my mind. Maybe what I need is to be more ambitious with work and money and try opening my own business again. This time I would do better research of what could be a perfect fit for me and I would definitely make it successful.
So, I am creating my 3 year business plan in my mind, when yet another thought comes...
"Paola, are you and idiot or what?" "you have the best of both worlds". A great job that I like and because it is not full time, enough time for the children, etc. Besides, let us not forget that a steady income is no small thing. I surely enjoy the steady income. No doubt about that.
I want to work AND I want to be with the kids AND I want to have time for myself AND I want to do something that matters AND I want to help others AND have more money AND, AND, AND.

So what is going on?!?!
I am driving myself crazy with all this conflicting thoughts. Could it be that I am going through an early, early, early mid-life crisis? No way, I am way, way, way too young for that.
Patrick says that I just say I don't want to work, but that I am lying to myself because after two weeks, I would be going insane at home. He is probably right.
In the mean time, I will pray for some guidance. Maybe God wants me to build another ark (I know nothing about building, but I am getting good at grouting tile, so if God wants me to tile a bathroom, I am game). Maybe the winning lottery ticket will land in my lap and I will understand that I am supposed to sip rum and cokes in my new villa in the tropics. Maybe I should just open my eyes for a second and realize how lucky I am and start appreciating more and complaining less.

Who needs therapy when I can blog my way through my problems!?